


Prayer

by nommunication



Series: I write ficlets to deal with feelings [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Season 7 Spoilers, spn 7x23
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-19
Updated: 2012-05-19
Packaged: 2017-11-05 16:01:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/408335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nommunication/pseuds/nommunication
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Sam can do is pray and hope Castiel can hear him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prayer

I

Sam prays.

He’s sat on the edge of a nondescript bed in the third hotel he found after leaving Sucrocorp: close enough to go back there if necessary, not so close that it feels like Leviathans could jump him at any moment. Across the room on the other bed Kevin Tran is sleeping like the dead. He regrets the analogy once he’s thought it.

It starts as an almost ritual sharing of pain, of going over what has happened to him to an AWOL deity because there is nobody else for him to go over it with. It becomes a stock-take of who he has lost: Bobby is dead for good, Dean and Castiel missing, Meg gone too. Crowley isn’t worth considering. Ellen and Ash and Jo and Rufus are all long gone. His father lives on only in his sons’ hunting. His mother died before he could remember. He could go on but the list is long, far too long and palms initially pressed together in prayer now cradle the head that’s fallen into them.

There’s so much he has to do. Yeah they killed Dick and ‘the body will flounder’ but that doesn’t mean a new head won’t rise to take charge and finish what was started. Kevin told him what he could about Dick’s selective breeding initiative, the additives. And he knows he has to fix it because there is nobody else left.

He didn’t expect he’d have to do it alone, bereft of the three people he could still claim as his family. He prays for strength, for help even though he knows if he finds any it won’t be coming from God.

He remembers he isn’t completely alone: he’s lost most of his allies but not quite all.

There’s Jodi Mills. He’d hate to drag her in to something like this but then they already dragged her into their messy world and it’s not like you can get out.

There’s also Garth. Hardly the partner Dean is but at least he’s a hunter. And he’s fairly certain Garth would be on his side. After they encountered the vamptonite he’s wondered how many hunters would try and use it as a weapon at the potential cost of civilians. He remembers being forced to drink demon blood with a shudder.

He knows Richard Roman Enterprises has to be taken down and oh he so wishes he could count Charlie as someone who would help. Her technical expertise is invaluable. But he doubts he’ll even be able to find her if she’s put her mind to disappearing.

Who else? Well, he’s sure Becky Rosen would be more than enthusiastic to help him. After the whole love-potion thing (on top of the hi-i-just-met-you-let-me-grope-your-pec thing and the supernatural-book-convention thing) he really doesn’t want to see her again but she’s a possibility. He’d probably rather go to Crowley first, but she’s a possibility.

So it boils down to Jodi and Garth. He sends a prayer that they’re even still alive.

He sends the same prayer for Dean and Castiel.

Then, he sends a prayer _to_ Castiel.

He doesn’t know where they are but there were no bodies so that has to mean they’re alive. And it seems natural that wherever Cas is, Dean will be with him. So he prays to Castiel, to both of them. Telling them that he’s okay and he _will_ find them and he _will_ get them back.

He doesn’t know if they can hear him. But he pretends they can and pretends it helps.

 

II

When Castiel hears his name called from inside his head, the voice faint and distorted but familiar, he vanishes in search of the source of it. He forgets that Dean is still in the clearing and that there are horrific monsters in the shadows waiting to pounce because all he is thinking is _I can hear an angel they’re alive I’m not the last one left._

Purgatory is the final destination for the inhuman. While he waited for Dean to wake up he began to wonder if Angels fell into that category. If he could find the garrison here; find Balthazar or Anna or Gabriel or anyone who might be able to help them. If maybe Castiel could help restore the garrison. He knew it was a long shot but then he heard the voice and it filled him with such _hope_ …

The voice kept talking, and Castiel began to realise it was not an angel. But it was Sam, praying to him, and he could tell by the tone it was important. He tried to ignore the pain of the hope suddenly being extinguished and listen to what Sam was praying.

It ended with a promise to save them, and that promise rekindled a tiny spark in him. He had faith in Sam Winchester.

He returned to Dean just in time to save him from a werewolf. It’s a cruder, more lethal werewolf than the ones on Earth today. He zaps them somewhere else, though location means nothing to him in this place. At least here the danger is imminent instead of immediate.

Dean’s face lights up when Castiel relays the prayer from Sam; they hadn’t known if he was even alive.

Dean asks if Cas can send a message back. He tries, but prayers only work one way and even then Sam’s had only just made it through to him, warped by travelling to purgatory. Still, they both pray to him to have strength, to not give up.

They know Sam cannot hear them. But they pretend he can and pretend it helps.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, it's basically my headcanon that as Sam tries to clear up the mess and get Dean and Cas back he gets into the habit of praying to Castiel, part progress report, partly for strength, partly because he has nobody to talk to. Castiel can still receive the prayers from purgatory - just - and as he and Dean try to find their way out the prayers are a source of hope and encouragement.
> 
> I self beta'd it quickly but that's it - this was more to hash out my thoughts and feels. But if you have read this far, comments/critique are always welcome. And thank you.


End file.
